Waltz
by Ryu Reikai-Akuma
Summary: A birthday fic for a1y puff. How long could they deny the inevitable? How long could they defy gravity? Angsty Fluff but fluff mostly. Perfect Pair


A birthday fic for a1y_puff. Happy birthday, godmommy! Wish you all the best bishounen and yaoi!

Title: Waltz  
Rating: G  
Pairing: Perfect Pair  
Summary: How long could they deny the inevitable? How long could they defy gravity?

A/N: This is something I could imagine vierblith_tefu write but not me. I still fail at fluff T.T thanks for aniprincess_13 for her awesome beta work. Enjoy..

Disclaimer: not mine. Will never be mine

**Waltz**

* * *

_**Rubbing my unopened eyelids, I can see  
Into a pastel-patterned future  
I'll pursue an inlaid symbol  
As my expression were pulled in closer**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

How many times had the image flashed behind his eyelids? How many times had he heard that voice whisper in his sleep? How many hopeful dreams had he had? And what were those for? What had he gained? What was he trying to gain?

The colors in front of him began to blur, molding to one white canvas before separating into different shades once more. The coffee was long gone from his system but he could not tear himself away from the project. It was due soon and his professor would not be delighted to have his favorite student finish the assignment late. Hadn't Fuji personally chosen that difficult task himself? Hadn't he been so excited at first? Wasn't it Fuji's dream to have a house by the sea? To be awakened every morning by the waves? To be lulled to sleep every night by the sound of the ocean? To be close to whence all return?

Fuji checked the sketch one more time, eyes tracing the thin lines that shaped the dream. Blue for the sea. Blue for peace and serenity. Blue for the drapes that covered from prying eyes of the world. Blue for the clear sky in a fine morning. Blue for silent but overwhelming victory. Blue for Seigaku. Blue for Te…

Fuji stopped himself before he continued that line of thought. He frowned slightly, upset with the loss of control over his mind. Hadn't he told himself it was over? Hadn't he convinced himself to stop looking back? He touched the sketch of a sakura-like decoration he had created especially for this project, his expression slowly softening into a smile, an amused smile. He might be able to not look into the past but how should he stop looking into the future?

_**

* * *

Say, what was it that I've been searching for?  
That's right, exactly when were those days  
When we defied gravity to see each other**_

_**When we used to meet, denying the attraction that was forming between us?**_

_**It's like a waltz, isn't it? So wondrous  
At a crossroad lit with sunbeams seeming to whisper through the trees  
As the two of us rotate as if in a waltz,  
We express ourselves

* * *

**_

There were many reasons why he shouldn't be doing this anymore. There were many reasons why this shouldn't be natural. But Fuji couldn't remember those reasons as he hit the tennis ball across the court with a satisfying thwack only to have it returned swiftly. His heart pounded in his chest out of excitement and anxiety and never had he felt so alive, never had he felt so right.

The game began years ago, starting on a day he could not forget. His curiosity had led him to it and for the very first time he had something he wanted to reach, a goal he wanted to attain. The spoilt genius within him wasn't satisfied with it. He knew there was something more hidden beneath the pain and indifference. He sought it even when he pretended otherwise. He remained watching, reaching out in silence that only they spoke.

The weekly meetings were incidental but Fuji would find himself making excuses to leave his house in the weekends to visit the street tennis court only to be disappointed occasionally. He would wonder in these occasions if he was ever expected but quickly pushed the thoughts away. He refused to bow to his curiosity once more, choosing action to seek answers instead of clumsy words of childish enthusiasm. It was their rule not to speak of the welcome routine. Victory. Defeat. Those were the only things that mattered. Smoldering looks across the court, thoughtful frowns, deceitful smiles, reaching hands. These were their language and Fuji feared they had spoken too much in more than one occasion.

The ball curved gently, leaving its designated course and was returned to Fuji. The brunette smiled, expecting it already, looking forward to it even. He chanted the words in his head, his body falling into a familiar move, spinning, his arm slicing the air gracefully. _Higuma Otoshi_. Soon the ball dropped just inside his side of the court before skidding into the other side as if drawn to his opponent. Fuji couldn't help but smile, gaining a pointed look that bordered on disapproval.

The heated sun was ignored. Fuji felt his body crave for more excitement, his mind screamed for more silent conversation. Eyes met briefly and he spared a brief second to smile and continued the game until finally the ball dropped into his side of the court. Fuji eyed it with certain regret, his mind automatically going through what he could have done to make it different. But then he shrugged and went to the net to shake his opponent's hand, feeling his heartbeat quicken in thrill beyond a victory. It wasn't what that he sought after all. Well, at least not victory in tennis matches. Somehow he knew that he had come closer to his goal even if he was reluctant and uncertain.

Game set. 4-6. Tezuka won.

_**

* * *

Throwing up all my overheated emotions,  
I could see the landscape  
Over half a year ago, I made it smolder  
By setting the image on fire

* * *

**_

But sometimes, words were inevitable and silence was overbearing. Sometimes as they caught their breath on the bench on the side of the court impatience and confusion would get the better of him. Sometimes he hated the promised silence.

"Are you dating anyone?"

Tezuka paused, eyebrows puckering slightly, body tensing in offense. "That is a personal question." He answered crisply.

Fuji refused to look at him, choosing to train his eyes on the gently swaying leaves. "Usually people go out on weekends. Dates. Dinners. Movies…" He stopped, upset of himself, of the other, of the uncertainty, of everything. Why was he there? Why couldn't he move forward? Why was he waiting when he didn't even know what he was waiting for? "A colleague asked me to dinner tonight."

Silence could be suffocating in its intensity. Words could be a blessing or a curse. Fuji refused to apologize for the truth and let pain eat them slowly. The regret came later when days turned chilly and loneliness clenched its fingers around his heart tightly. Fuji conceded but still fought for dignity. It was their first official outing. Fuji should've been thrilled but something was missing.

It wasn't the first outburst nor would it be the last; Fuji was an impulsive person after all. But Tezuka never seemed to react anymore, answering anger with cold indifference and revert back to his shell. Perhaps Fuji should be grateful but it wasn't what he wanted. So more often than not he reverted in the language Tezuka choose to speak and closed his eyes to drown in his world until there was a softly muttered good bye and the only presence he could feel was his own.

_**

* * *

What was it that I've lost?  
Even so, I'm fine, I tell you  
We'll probably seek out comparisons with our gravity**_

_**It's like a waltz, isn't it? So lovely  
As we listen to chirps that seem to murmur  
As if we're dancing a waltz, the two of us  
Express ourselves

* * *

**_

It was an unexpected meeting. Fuji had stopped, temporarily letting his mask drop as he caught sight of Tezuka across the dance hall. Their eyes locked as if the distance, the people, the colors, the music didn't exist. Fuji felt compelled to approach, unable to deny the urge to be close, be where he felt like he belonged but a voice called his name and halted his step. He turned around with a smile, pleasant despite annoyance. A glance back and he found Tezuka being surrounded by a small group of admiring fans. Fuji bit back his disappointment, turned to his former class mates and feigned interest.

Not even Eiji's antics, Oishi's frantic attempts at damage control, or Inui's enthusiastic data gathering could draw his interest. Fuji briefly wondered if anyone is going to recognize the fakeness of his smile. His eyes, while hidden, were trained only to one figure on the other side of the room. Why was Tezuka here at the reunion party? Did he actually enjoy the party? Who was he talking to? Was he going to meet someone?

The questions were barely amusing so Fuji drowned them with another glass of cocktail. Taka-san told him that he had drunk a little too much and asked if Fuji would like a ride home later that night since he noticed that Fuji arrived with a cab and their going on the same direction. Fuji shook his head and laughed, his alcohol tolerance was quite high and he would just get a cab again later, thank you. He still however would like to go to Taka-san's restaurant some time to reacquaint himself with his sushi. Is it good to go tomorrow?

Then a song started to play and he could hear Eiji's squeal in the appreciatively murmuring crowd. Fuji recognized it. It was a song that created a craze among the teens in their days. He smiled at the couples pouring into the dance floor, waiting patiently for an offer he knew would come soon enough.

True to his prediction, a young man with a light pink hue on his cheeks approached him. Fuji could barely recall his name but agreed to his question graciously. He was aware of many jealous and longing gazes directed to them but paid them no mind. His partner said something about always admiring them since their first year. Did Fuji realize he was watching him from the back of the class during their second year? It was embarrassing really when Kikumaru-kun caught him red handed, so to speak. Fuji laughed but it died down when a couple danced past them. Brown locked onto blue for a second of eternity but with a whirl of pink, blue, and brown they lost the connection. Fuji sought it again but they moved further and further away, his partner's embarrassed chatter turned into a static that filled the void he suddenly felt. Fuji closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them, saw nothing but a molding of colors; white, black. How he longed to reach for the blue…

_**

* * *

Ah, repaint reality, which is playing dumb, with primary colors  
I'll draw you close to me, so, please  
From there on, let's continue to dance  
Our very own waltz**_

_**It's like a waltz, isn't it? So wondrous  
At a crossroad lit with sunbeams seeming to whisper through the trees  
As the two of us rotate as if in a waltz,  
We express ourselves

* * *

**_

Something changed but Fuji fought hard to ignore it. The yellow ball flew from hard impact to one side of the court, then back again. He felt the weight that wasn't usually there. It was disconcerting but he ignored it. Wasn't it what was expected of him? Complete focus on his task? On tennis?

The ball hit his opponent's court. He relaxed his pose slightly but then noted the frown that was deeper than usual. The serve was slightly more powerful than before but still not something Fuji could not handle. He could sense the slipping control, the tension, everything that should not be there, not when it's Tezuka he's playing with. He hit the ball back, had it returned to him and he almost felt angry, insulted even. This was too easy! Wasn't Tezuka the one who asked him to give it all in their private matches? Another score. He led. Fuji contemplated on stopping the game and let his discontent be known but decided against it. A sharp look was shared and Tezuka seemed to grip the ball in his hand tighter. Everything would be back to normal, he promised in the gesture.

It was only expected from Tezuka to regain control so quickly. Fuji felt a sense of satisfaction mingled with relief when he felt normalcy returned. _Zerohiki Drop Shot_. Fuji's smile was returned with a cool look. There was still an unfamiliar heat lurking at the edges but Fuji decided to answer through action. He wiped the sweat rolling down his face with his shirt as he prepared for an intense match. Being careless wasn't an option at this rate.

Still he wasn't prepared for the intensity. Was Tezuka using _Hyaku Ren Jitoku no Kiwami_, he wondered as he returned a ball with slight difficulty. But that couldn't be the case. The strength wasn't nearly twice as hard as what Fuji used though still more powerful than usual. Something was definitely off today. The tension, the power, the lack of control, the anger… Fuji paused as the ball swished past him to hit the hard ground. He caught Tezuka's eyes which were directed to him, sharp, searching. He sensed fire beneath the cool exterior, a fire that had been there all along but had ignored till now, a fire that he had lit. Since when had it been this way? And more importantly, how long were they going to keep it this way? Fuji inhaled deeply, forcing tension to leave his body. Tezuka still played relentlessly and Fuji knew he wouldn't stop. Of course, after all that was one of his charms.

A gentle breeze caressed perspiring bodies, cooling it slightly. The racquet connected to the small tennis ball, sending it flying high into the blue to once again grace the earth in a gentle curvy course and faithfully returned to Fuji's waiting hand. _Hakugei_.

They locked eyes for a while before Fuji approached the net slowly. Tezuka hesitated but obliged eventually. His eyes were cool save for that flame still singing within his soul, the same inextinguishable flame Fuji felt within him. The flame that they had kept hidden for so long, tried to bury deep, but all in vain.

"Enough." Fuji whispered just loud for Tezuka to hear. He gave Tezuka no time to ask as he leaned up and captured the tall brunette's lips with his own. Shock drew the lean body taut and Fuji could almost hear questions that ran through the other's head. But soon enough the tension melted and two arms came up to wrap themselves around lithe body and pull it close.

Game set. They won.

**OWARI**

A/N: I bet you cold tell from the way I wrote this that I don't play tennis. Well in my defense it doesn't help that I keep trying to use Tezuka zone whenever I see a bal flying at me! Anyway, review?


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